golden week!!

Yeah, it was a much-needed holiday — one I truly needed. So many things happened in just the blink of an eye. And now, finally, I can see the bigger picture. Woah.

As human beings, we all go through tough phases. Even when life seems simple, complications creep in. I was caught in one of those phases. It wasn’t clarity I was seeking — it was validation. And somehow, this morning, I finally found it. Everything that had been hidden deep within me became visible.

The morning started cloudy, with the kind of gray that quietly sinks into your mood. As predicted, it began to drizzle — just enough to blur the windows and quiet the streets. Then came the rain, steady and full, almost like nature’s way of crying with me. It felt like a cleansing, like the skies were helping to rinse away the heaviness I had been carrying for weeks. And then, just as suddenly, the rain stopped. The clouds began to part, and a soft, golden sunlight spilled across everything. It wasn’t dramatic — just enough to make you notice. And it felt like a sign, a whisper from the universe saying, "Even this will pass."

That weather — that journey from cloud to rain to light — mirrored what I was going through. My thoughts, once jumbled and stormy, were starting to settle. I had been suffering in silence for a long time. The people I once held close had grown distant. I longed for someone — anyone — to reach out, to say, "Don’t worry, everything will be okay." But no one came. And so I sat with the silence, and in doing so, I began to hear my own voice again.

Sometimes, even those you trust the most walk away at the very moment you need them. I had read about this in books — pages filled with wisdom, pain, and healing — but it’s a different thing altogether to feel it in your bones. And in that kind of moment, you’re forced to learn how to walk alone. That’s how strength is born — not out of comfort, but out of loneliness. That’s when you realize who’s truly with you, and who only walked beside you when the sun was shining. And truth be told, now that I’ve lived through that storm, I understand why people write about it. Still, I never want to go through this kind of emotional storm again.

So, let me try to put this into words.

Like everyone else, I have a family, friends, and special people in my life. But in what felt like the blink of an eye, everything changed. Everyone seemed to drift away. Just when I moved to a new place and started a new job, suddenly, I was surrounded by strangers. I started questioning myself: Am I the wrong one? Am I making mistakes? My self-esteem dropped, and I was drowning in the feeling that maybe I was to blame for it all.

I held on tightly to my old mindset — believing that loyalty means forever, that love never fails, that the people you give your heart to will always show up when needed. But reality unfolded differently. The people I thought would never leave, did. Some showed their true colors, and it hurt. I was clinging to memories, to expectations, and it only deepened the suffering.

But then came the silence. The solitude. And in that silence, I had no choice but to keep going — to do the work, to eat, to put on a smiling face for the new people around me. But deep inside, I felt like I was living through a never-ending dark night. I realized I was holding on to people who had already let go of me.

One day, during a long walk through the quiet streets of my new city, I looked around and realized that change isn’t always the enemy. Sometimes, it’s the path to liberation. And maybe, just maybe, I had to let go of what no longer served me. I began to find peace in small moments — a kind word from a stranger, the warmth of the morning sun, a deep breath that didn't feel heavy.

I also started noticing the people who stayed. Not the ones I expected, but the ones who listened, who checked in without being asked, who accepted me without judgment. That’s when I understood — it’s not about the number of people around you, but the depth of connection you share with a few.

Sometimes, you have to change your old mindset. Letting go of what you once thought was permanent isn’t easy — it feels like losing a part of yourself. But you have to allow new people to become your home, to step into your life with open hearts. And as you let them in, they might just find a home in you too. In that space of renewal, you begin to realize that not everyone leaves — some people arrive. And among them, sometimes you meet those rare, special people who feel like they've been waiting for you all along. People who don't just enter your life, but understand your silence, see your scars, and still choose to stay.

And maybe, all this pain, all this distance, all these lessons — they were meant to shape you into someone who is ready to receive the love and peace you've always deserved. Who we contact and connect with in those moments of change truly matters — not those who left, but those who arrive and stay when you're at your most vulnerable.

And that’s where I am now — not completely healed, but no longer broken. Just… growing.

And that’s enough. And one last message to those who lost me…

Just because you lost me as a friend doesn’t mean you gained me as an enemy. I’m bigger than that, my guy. I still want to see you eat — just not at my table… Peace✌🏻