confession!!

Firstly, I am so sorry for making everyone worried and troubled. Just because I was in a troubled state, I ended up putting everyone else in that same weight. I am genuinely sorry to each and every one of you. But in that chaos, I gained clarity. I saw who truly stands beside me. I found people who held me when I couldn't hold myself, and I know now — some of you are for life. That is something I’ll never take for granted.

Oh, my Nayna. Thank you for all the Facetimes — even now, while I write this, you’re still on the call. You always worry about me more than yourself. But listen, I’m okay now, so please focus on your work. Still, thank you for making me feel special, every single day. And yes, I admit it — no one else in this universe is allowed to call me 786 times until I pick up. Only you. And when I finally answer, you’re not angry — you’re just relieved. You ask, "Are you alright? I was missing you." I ask, "Why aren’t you angry?" You say, "Why should I be?" That’s who you are. Gentle, kind, and understanding. A beautiful soul that everyone deserves beside them. Thank you.

To my brother Daxter — you're the definition of a real one. Our connection? A mystery, but one of the best gifts of my life. You're a genius in your own right. And I know, one day, the world will know too. You’re doing everything right with clarity and integrity. I’ll always be cheering for you. And as promised, no plugs — people who need your light will find it. That’s the truth.

Jane. You’re more than just an angel — you’re grace walking on earth. Remember my first reaction when I saw you? Of course, you do. You should seriously consider acting, you're that mesmerizing. And every day, you wait for me downstairs — that small, quiet moment means more to me than you know. And that perfume? No one else but me got that. You inspire me to run, to push, to breathe better. I’m running with you every morning now, and it’s become the most grounding part of my day. I promise I’ll beat you soon, just let me adjust my breathing. You're the sexiest, strongest motivator a person could have. I hope life brings you every ounce of joy you give to others. And thank you again for those perfumes — they smell like confidence.

Marry. Your food is healing — body and soul. I can’t explain how you always show up right when I forget to eat, but you do. You know me better than I know myself sometimes. I would never be this healthy without you. And the chocolates? I ate a few, but we’ll finish the rest together. Thank you for caring like a mother, without asking for anything back. I owe you more than I can repay.

Yuko. I owe you a mountain of thanks and an ocean of apologies. For letting me stay, for your kindness, for sharing your space and your heart. The dresses I used — I’ll replace them all and then some. You did more for me as a friend than my own blood ever did. Words don’t do justice to what I feel. I’m forever grateful. And I am so, so sorry for any inconvenience I caused.

Maya. Thank you is too small. You showed up when I needed someone the most. The way you held me, spoke to me — I still hear your words echoing in my ear. I promise I’ll come see you, this time for real. Please, take care of yourself. Who knows what could’ve happened without you?

And then... the emails. So many. Heartfelt. Honest. Unexpected. And I wondered, why do people wait until someone’s gone to say what they really feel? Why not say it when they’re still breathing, still here? That’s the lesson I carry now. I tried replying to all, but if I missed you — I’m sorry. I’m human. I’ve made mistakes. But I want to live this life with open arms and open eyes now. Let’s keep living, together.

Thank you for making me feel loved in ways I never thought possible. I’ve never felt more alive, more held, more whole. I am truly the luckiest soul in the universe to be surrounded by people like you — people who support, uplift, and believe in one another. This is a family. One born of connection, not blood. And every single one of you matters to me.

I love you all. Even if your name isn’t written here, your email, your words, your thoughts — they reached me. And we’ll talk more. That’s a promise.

No more darkness from my side. No more silence. Saying it loud and clear, hand raised high: I’m here. I’m grateful. And I’m ready to live the life you all believed I could. ❤️